livingandlovinglifewithoutfear

.....STILL Living and Loving Life without fear.....

..October 2004 UPDATE..
.....rambling thoughts and what's happening to da DingoMan..

..First the UPDATE: after some serious attempts between the two of us to resolve differences and
issues in our personal relationship, Clay and I have realized that although we are suited for each
other in many ways, on an intimate level we?ll never fully achieve a successful intimate partner
relationship?..I?m a free spirited soul that will not be harnessed, trapped, brought down, ruled or
hampered by negativity, darkness, anger, depression and those other dark Powers that struggle
within a man?s soul to challenge a man?s strengths, tranquility and inner peace; a famous Greek
monk once wrote (not his exact words) that the real battle with man was not the sins of the flesh
but within the core of the soul where the battle within that area was between good and bad, the
struggle of two Powers challenging each other ? there?s much Truth in that and over the past
three years I have once again witnessed this battle ? not within my own soul but that of a man I
truly love, one whom I will always love and look out after ? we?re friends now and my commitment
to Clay is to insure that I will be there if the need arises to look out after him, his cats, the horse
and take care of any business that needs to be attended to should he become ill again in the
future?..in the meantime Clay lives in his new mobile home about 250 feet away from where I live
and we?re expecting his new propane refrigerator to be delivered within the next few days. As we
start approaching the winter months, we will be putting up a small barn for the horse to stay in
nearer to Clay?s home, get the propane gas tank installed, and work will begin soon on installing
solar panels and a wind turbine generator for Clay?s power system ? all the components we need
for the electric supply are on the property and the only hold up is Clay wants a front porch
installed onto his mobile home before putting the panels up ? and as of this posting he know is
talking about putting in a riding ring to continue ?versage? with the horse?..it gets rough many
days dealing with Clay?s clinical depression, his anger, abusive tones - and its not easy at times
but I take comfort in knowing that despite all that there are some good days when he gets out
there and rides his horse, takes charge of his life and really tries to be a bit happier ? some
people I guess just enjoy being miserable, eh??..

?..in the meantime my buddy from Fort Worth, Kenny, has put up the fencing for a small ?starter?
garden ? we?ve got more than enough horse manure to enrich the soil for vegetables and
fruits?..I?ve got the solar trickle charger and power panels working properly so there?s a quiet
efficient limited source of electric on the RV I live in?..the dawg (Pam) has adjusted quite well and
is has become a real bundle of joy to have around ? she is truly a free spirit and has her own
ways, independent but very protective of the old Dingo?.

?..as to the Dingo and what?s on my mind??????although my days on the road are far from over
as I enjoy riding on two wheels too much I have since settled down in the high desert known as the
Big Bend Region of Texas ? and I?m enjoying hundreds of miles of riding ? the vistas and colors
of mountains and skies are ever changing down in these parts never revealing the same patterns
and hues. Kicking back in the evening I can look up into the night sky and clearly see the Milky
Way and am blanketed by millions of stars, many nights the moon lights up the hard pan adobe
roads and a flashlight is not needed (although I have to be careful where I step as we do have
some rather nasty Mohave rattlers out in this area ? they?re very aggressive, will chase you and
their venom is a neuro toxin, causing paralysis of the respiratory system ? the closest medical
care is up in Alpine, 55 miles away?..sounds of the night include many different types of chirps,
cackles, buzzing and the yipping of coyotes (we?ve had quite a few come onto the property and
check us out already)?..occasionally I can see a car or truck coming down Texas 118 from the
north many miles away, headlights appearing and disappearing ? many down in these parts do
not travel at night because of the wildlife that does come out on the road ? javelinas, antelope,
mule deer, big horn sheep, mules, coyotes, bats, buzzards, deer, sankes and lots of flying
bugs?.there I went off on a tandem, but the bottom line is that my rides are shorter now that I have
the dawg that has come into my Life ? a few trips back to Austin to spend some time with family
and close friends but never for more than a few days at a time?..the riding through the Big Bend
Area and the Parks (National and State) is always exciting?..we?ve still got much green down here
although the rainy season is leaving and we?ll be dry for a while with an occasional shower, things
will go back to being brown and the flowers will fall asleep until next spring?..

?..I?m not being as aggressive in my search for a partner these days, I am limiting myself to
running the personal ad on these pages and a couple of other web sites (I?m amazed at how
some people out there continue to misrepresent themselves) ? I spent well over 2 1/2 years
traveling, checking out potential partners, enjoyed the two wheel riding on those roads along the
ways ? I?ve traveled over 30,000 miles looking and now I am resolved to the fact that if there?s
someone out there for me they can find me here where I am going to stay ? what has not changed
is that I have been able to truly continue living and loving Life without fear, - my lifestyle has come
back down to making it very simple ? living without the modern conveniences in the high desert in
one of the most remote areas of the United States! How many people do you know of with
HIV/AIDS that would give up a home and much of what they owned, strip themselves of the
creature comforts, take off on a 20 year old motorcycle with very little and just go out there on the
road blindly guided by nothing more than their Higher Power? ??(YEP! I?m giving myself a ?pat on
the back?! Fucking A man!)?.Now I?m settled down again on 21 acres with another ten down the
road, shitting in a hole like a bear**, collecting water, taking walks out in the desert in the middle of
the night, still riding those roads and listening to those Grateful Dead concerts and yeah, maybe I
have to drive 1000 miles round trip to see a doctor every 3 months or so but hey ? the ride is
always enjoyable!

The greatest part of any journey is the discovery of what lies ahead, no matter how difficult any
situation may have become I have discovered that I have the Power to take charge and make Life
more rewarding by confronting the challenges, conquering obstacles and fears and most
important ? meeting others out there who not only can understand what the meaning of Life is
about but also know how to embrace it and take advantage of what (G)god gave us ? the ability to
go beyond our instinct and use not just our intellect but the primal being within us ? that?s the one
Gift given to us ? many people out there I have met understand what this is truly about....
...To get there one must go deep within themselves and unleash the conditioning that started
when we were born. Easier said then done but once you have mastered that
you?ve opened up the cosmos both within and around?..

OK folks, where am I today?????still looking not just for a partner but examining and enjoying Life
around me, content and happier, enjoying the quiet solitude within and around, yearning for a
mate but savoring the companionship of the Pam dawg, close friends, a few buddies in and
around the Big Bend/Austin area, no longer lonely and definitely not alone! ? the spirits of my first
partner Alec, the DingoDog and a couple of close friends who have long passed along with the
spirits and warmth of those still alive stay within and around me?..Living and Loving Life without
fear, looking out onto Nine Points Mesa, Santiago Peak, Black Hill, Red Bluff, enjoying the magic
of Life in the high desert and riding the asphalt (and adobe) roads ? for those who know and care
as always I say THANK YOU for being there, friendships are hard to come by and more often than
not taken for granted ? you folks bring much joy into my Life and I hope that I may continue to
bring something wonderful into your lives ? you know who you are??
.....for those out there who have continued to follow my pages over the past few years I appreciate
your being there and for revealing yourselves to me.....
.....for all who have shared themselves, THANK YOU, sharing is truly a gift to be treasured?..
I love you all!
?da Dingo? October 2004

**For those who think they know it all and really believe all bears shit in the woods, well some bears are more
unique and more particular, preferring to shit in a hole in the ground and not in the woods since EVERY smart
bear knows there's ticks, chiggers and spiders in those trees, not to mention the risks of getting splinters in yer
butt and possibly having yer ass set on fire if lightning strikes the trees, eh???

TX 118 - 1 1/2 miles west of da Dingo's desert hideaway as a storm approaches

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