| 1% All The Way DEADMEN PATCHED GDI "17" BROTHERHOOD ASSOCIATE HA & OL ASSOCIATE |
| 1% ALL THE WAY - ALWAYS - A REBEL "BREAKING ANOTHER BARRIER TO FREEDOM"........ This is probably one of the hardest and most difficult pages I have done. Those who know me knew that when I rode out of Austin in 2001 unannounced and then later proclaimed I was embarking upon a search for my soulmate knew that was not the priority on my reasoning for leaving - buddies knew the old Dingo wanted to do some more soul searching and the only way I ever knew how to find a solution to a problem was to just go for a ride - it's kinda like Zen. Very few were aware that after a sweat lodge in 99 another curandero saw of a bit of my future. So when I started discarding more material objects during and after that, spokes turned! Knowing the human nature within us all I kept very quiet as I knew others may attempt to talk me out of, as they still try to do but these days its without fruitation and they don't even go there.... It's "Dingo's [Jim's] gonna do what he feels he has to do so let him live...." Retirement for many comes in different ways and those of us who continue to live Life and truly embrace don't change, we simply evolve. Others become stagnant and that's OK too if it makes them happy and content - where it becomes a problem is when their personality changes to a more darker side of existence - angry, frustrated, meaner - and all to often I have seen how that can become bad medicine affecting not just that person but those around them as well! I chose NOT to go there, even if it meant NOT getting too comfortable with creature comforts! Homeless by choice doesn't mean that I shrug responsibility nor does it mean that I don't want to settle. Rather than pay a mortgage (or rent) I share that money with others I stay with! Staying in different parts of the country I am allowed to discover new people and places. As far as settling I haven't been discovered by my soulmate yet - he may be out there in one of those places, or close by. It doesn't mean I pick up and leave when there's a problem either! I rarely have any personal problems and when it comes to interactions with others we always work it out - resolve comes about through communication - not at the local beer joint! It's a new freedom and there are a few of us out there - we connect on the roads and rails. One of my buddies told me one night, "stick with your own kind - he's out there somewhere." My "own kind" are those who share NOT what I do but who act upon their own Higher Power. They come in flesh, spirit and soul and do not see color and social/eco status. This page will hopefully clarify a few more things about me, reveal to "those in the know", and basically also serve up some small bits (bytes) that I have posted on other forums (and emails). I'll start it off by a recent posting on a group I set-up, that posting was a trial run. It is now here for me to share with everyone, particularly some real good buddies. You knew it was coming guys - I gotta be the one I guess to open that door! Wolf & the others at Beverly's this one is for you.....you already knew I was getting sick..... .....you took "the fall" for me that night down there back in 96, someone paid my debt to the man - those Bastrop Boys will always give a 2nd thought first, they learned from that lesson & it might have made their balls a bit tougher, I'll never know cause I took your advice - "stick with your own kind". Hey - I gave them boys the benefit of the doubt - you all done that too! our bonds strengthened from that night in 96 - it was stupid for me to bring them in there... and your last words to me Dec 31, 2006 while Chapman got me that bedpan echoed loud and clear "...get yourself well, ride if ya can, go where you gotta go anyway you gotta do it... ....we'll see ya when you get back" - 1%'ers know how it is & how we are..... OH YEAH, the nurse said THANKS for leaving her a Bud! (and not leaving a mess) Dingo Sept 07 THANK YOU! HERE'S THAT TRIAL RUN - NOW UP AND OUT THERE ........well about the only thing I let any man do out in public is hold onto my waist when he's riding bitch on the bike, sometimes I let them cop a feel of my crotch but its been a while since I let anyone ride with me - I'm out but from the old school and don't really show displays of affection with either sex - I was never a hand holder with men or women except at home......... Appreciate the links. I'm not the type of traveller who has a structured itinerary........I'm looking at other places to visit to and from Peru - I already have the ticket out of Miami to Lima for next May and its one that I can flex the return date on with some notice and very little surcharge. I've changed the date on the ticket to May 2008 originally I was scheduled to go last May but I was still on dialysis and had to make the change (did it for the following year 2008). Bought the ticket last October in Austin when I had made other trip plans and shit happens but I'm looking real good and will stay healthy for a while. I don't want to be back in that situation again and don't see it happening again for some time to come - I learned a valuable lesson which I'll post later on down the pike. While I am laying low I am working on those personal pages with captions and am posting new pages with more pictures and other personal stuff. I'm using "laying low to update web pages" as a good excuse to not ride so that I can continue to recover from last fall's kidney failure. My close buddies have laid some head trips out on me and are keeping me in check (I hate admitting that) on motorcycle long haul travel. I am NOT happy about NOT being able to take those long rides and AM making some adjustments..... .....Its not a pride thing and certainly not an addiction like some people who are addicted to horses. No scooter tramp likes having to do down time but I suppose, as one buddy told me, you're gonna get old one day and not be able to ride at all so appreciate that you can do what you can now. I had a buddy named Polecat up in Grand Prairie Texas who got pancreatic cancer a few years back and now I know how he felt. The last year or so of his life was spent going to and from Houston for radiation/chemo and as it got worse I watched his spirits fall privately. He and I were alike - always putting up that facade. That's the way some of us are and we like to think we're fooling the others and they let us think they're fooled. We all were there helping him and his wife during that last year - there was always people there. Polecat would get his chemo/radiation in Houston, come back to GP, take the chopper down to the scooter beer joint less than a mile from the house and that was all he could handle. The last time he was on the chopper was in his driveway after pulling it out of his shop in the back during a Saturday BBQ. He just couldn't keep that bike up anymore and dropped it there in the drive and broke his leg from it. He laughed and said "its just a fucking bike Dingo, get them out of here I'll see them tonite at the Jungle....." I got Polecat in the house while his old lady got the bike back into the shop and sent people away. His wife and I were the last two people with him. He refused to go to the hospital for the leg and went back to bed and cried. He wanted more of the pipe and we gave it to him. He went from morphine to opium that day - that was his last wish, the opium dream and its totally different than morphine. He got it, we never made it to the beer joint that night. So you see I been down some roads and here lately I been feeling that frustration. I don't let it out to my buddies and like Polecat, and a few others, we go down that path and sometimes open up to complete strangers far away from where those feelings cannot be heard by the ones who know us. We all have to wear that mask at some point in our lives and although we sit around the fire or in the bar or at the poker table sometimes and say "talk about it - we're family" - we just never seem to do that except to strangers or maybe the janitor or orderly in the hospital, and when we do its brief cause as quick as that mask comes off it goes right back on. I got plenty of time and its not my time to die just yet unless some cager sends me flying off my scooter. I just needed to vent and get it off my chest. I wanted to be able to do it in some public place so that I can say to myself I broke THAT barrier as well - I'm not gonna post it on my web pages just yet. I knew eventually I would say something to someone out there and I needed to say it so I could get on with all these other things. I'm not fishing for any pity or shit like that either. Just a listening ear - that's all! END OF TRIAL RUN - IT'S OFFICIALLY POSTED ON DINGO'S WEB! |
| Other thoughts from those crypts of my mind..... (taken from posts (reactions) I have made to others in other forums) <<<So sick and tired of black brother and there nasty ways of deceit, lies, con games,unfaithfulness........a shame that gay men today don't have any morals, code, ethics or values to live by.... there no devotion in relationship no commitment to honesty.....Now if you have a lover stop seeking the sex & the attention of other and love your lover the right way.... also Man if you know that you are a whore then be a whore cause no one can judge you BUT stop trying to turn your self in to a house wife/husband making promises and commitments you know you can not keep......>>> ....start talking about the shame of gay men not having morals, ethics, values, etc and they either run like roaches or they turn around and pontificate........you're a brave spirit and I respect that wholeheartedly - good to see someone else out there who is not afraid to bring that all out! THANK YOU! Most of those gay men who claim to have "balls" and like to serve up their "masculinity" really have no clue what having "balls" and being a man is really about! Those guys out there who have lovers but persist in going out and whoring around obviously have no values and ethics because if they did they might stop and THINK about not just what they are doing to their mates, the hurt and all that, but their own body and soul. Very few really stop long enough to think because they probably do not like to see what they have become and maybe get some values and morals. Maybe they should consider talking to their mates and exploring with their mates what it is they wish to explore or desire rather than putting on labels and head trips. Ever notice how the cheating mate always starts the argument and makes YOU FEEL that you are to blame for his actions and his whoring around rather than taking on responsibility? That runs not only just with "black men" but all colors of men, straight and gay. Guy goes off to another guy/girl because he wants to maybe role play or get something sexually and he's afraid that his mate might "see him differently"..........or worse yet, the mate might be willing to want to do that and it works his own ego. Maybe its not about sexuality and he wants to talk or cry and doesn't want to look "weak" to his mate..........so where's he go? Off to the bar and maybe the whore - its safer cause after all he doesn't have to wake up with the whore. They need to get over that crap! Here we are in the 21st century, black, white, red, green and any color anyone wants to add, gay and straight and in between, making technology better by leaps and bounds with some great minds yet those same great minds cannot seem to want to do but push their "toughness" and "sex appeal" up front rather than putting their hearts souls up there too..........unlike some people I do not take offense at the "looking in my color and existing in my color only" mindset people out there - I understand people having color preference - don't agree with it, but its nothing more than another barrier to achieving true freedom and happiness whether you are looking or not and I'm not saying you are wrong or bad in that, I'm just tired of people who perpetuate this discrimination and "perceived racism" innocently (maybe not), I been discriminated all my life it seems by those who tell me that I have "too many morals" or "you gay bash and yer gay" Early on it was because of my anglo indian mixed blood and my family - bikers - we were considered white trash by local townfolk. When I became involved in the gay community this discrimination was rampant - still is! They want my body (I say that to use as an example) see a "he's a big daddy biker who is gonna..........me" and failed to see my heart - when that heart is exposed it blow their bubble - I'm not supposed to show much sensitivity or want to be romantic or worse yet, share a balance of power in a relationship! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez! People do not like hearing about the Truth and until we all come together and quit that crap society is not going to accept gay marriages, unions, etc because many feel there are NO VALUES & MORALS in the gay community when they see and hear what is shown - those few of us out there who try to make a difference are bucked by our own - I'm old enough to remember the movie CRUISING when it came out - gays were upset and boycotted the movie because it showed the S/M Leather segment and made the killer a gay man - they didn't want society to know about that segment of the community cause they were afraid it would defeat the newly started gay rights thing - Looking for Mr. Goodbar was out years before and NO ONE boycotted that one!........... I'm hollering at ya because I know how you feel! And now you know how I feel! Your post is solid and probably will help a few out there tear down some attitudes.......... POSTSCRIPT(S) NOT ON THE ORIGINAL POST Sometime I gotta tell ya the story of the biker and the whore and the wife........... SHORT REACTION - I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THESE PEOPLE WHO PERPETUATE RACISM BY SEPARATING THEMSELVES OR OTHERS BY COLOR! One day a friend of mine made a comment that he just couldn't find any good black men - David Jones, if you're reading this as I am certain you will find it here, remember my comments back in 94??? People narrow and isolate themselves by color. Then they complain that they cannot find their happiness and soulmates no matter how hard they look. They talk about morals and values on top if it all. They feel others within their community may not accept or may reject them if they do something that is not approved by that community's standards. I'll be damned if I am going to let color be a barrier to my happiness. The sad thing about it is that there was a man who was a different color who told me once that if I were black he would snatch me up in a heartbeat but he certainly didn't have a problem wanting to go to bed with me -I declined that offer - a real double standard! His logic was "it's a cultural thing" OK! I didn't choose my skin color - its how I came out of my mothers womb! Hold that against me? We all have a right to our preferences and choosing who we want to be with. Just think about what I am saying about how it creates a barrier to happiness! WE ALL NEED TO GET PAST THAT LABELLING OF COLOR THOUGH! IT REEKS OF RACISM & PHOBIAS & SEPARATES US AS A WHOLE |